I stopped eating again and I don’t know what to do. It’s an endless cycle of depression, headaches, lies and guilt. I feel so tired all the time, I have a constant headache. I feel like so worthless. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even think about eating without wanting to cry. I feel pathetic thinking about doing cocaine again. Last time I did it, I was lying in bed at 6 O’clock in the morning, watching the sunrise through my bedroom window. I’m a morning person, I love going for a jog in the morning and watching the sunrise, but that morning was different. I felt so alone watching it all by myself. I was so sad. Too sad to cry in fact. I didn’t know what to do. I was tired and energized at the same time. I wanted to run and scream but at the same time I just wanted to sleep. I have battle depression for a few years now but that day, those early morning hours were the worst of my life. I could have been in a room full of people whom I love, but it wouldn’t have cured my loneliness. Things were going good for a while. I don’t know what happened.
